he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
