Your face is a jimmy john
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
