Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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