I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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