"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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