U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize