Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
