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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You pole danced in your parka.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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