my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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