people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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