The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
