Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
false alarm. still invincible.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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