I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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