walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize