i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
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