i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
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I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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