He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
