sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just invented taco cereal.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
