Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
