worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
