is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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