flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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