I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize