um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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