I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
