oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
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he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
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You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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