Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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