Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
