The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
