hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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