on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
