Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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