Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
