I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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