You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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