i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
now i know why i became what i already was.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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