margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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