i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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