Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
