Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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