I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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