remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
