Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
