I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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