if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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