Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My ass is underappreciated
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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