the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
