The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
3pm strippers are depressing
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
