your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
