I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
