BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
