I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
