Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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