I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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