Dual....:-)
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
barbara walters just said penis...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
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