yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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