Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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