He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
im having a threesome with these popsicles
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the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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