I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
