In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
