Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
