Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Randomize
