im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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