I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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