just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
