I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Sorry about my life...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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