why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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