what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
