there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
