I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
